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Sunday, December 14, 2008

hospice


I am still spending my time with my Mom.. each day she gets weaker and I just don't think I can make work for the time I am here with her - I tried. I told her about the show I have coming up this fall and she was happy... I told her the name of it and how I wanted to use her image in some new paintings that I will be using with this project.. she liked that. My Mom has a little black pug named Maggie.. I bring her to hospice a lot... Maggie sits on the bed with Mom and just lays quietly there with her. Maggie's little tail fell this week when I brough her in and she was quieter and more still than she had been on previous visits. Maggie was rescued by my Mom who had wanted a pug forever - after Kai (our wolf dog) had died they adopted Maggie - they had found her through family who had contacted shelters and a local shelter in Des Moines (the Animal Lifeline) had directed them to a family who had Maggie, but could no longer keep her. Maggie was lucky.... she has been loved and has spent countless hours by my Mom's side.. Maggie will miss her human Mom very much.

Monday, November 17, 2008

difficult

I haven't picked up a pencil or a brush in what seems like an eternity... My Mom has been so sick and is now in hospice. It is so hard. I can't make anything right now - all I can do is sit by her side and talk to her. I never experienced what death was like until I worked on this project.. I will work again on this, right now things are just too difficult...

Thursday, October 9, 2008

in progress....and the Jillian story.


Here is one of the drawings I am working on - in fact, I was working on it tonight and I remembered that I hadn't added any of this work to the blog .. I am working from a photo I had taken of one of the dogs .. I remember this guy, he was older and lanky and was so friendly - I would have taken him home if I could... I really liked him. But, my house was overflowing with dogs .. the one on the top picture is Jillian Jones Appalachian Highway Dog.... I picked her up one day while I was on my way to do the laundry.. someone had just dumped her along the highway and I saw her chasing their red pickup down the highway. I caught up to her and jumped out - by that time her former owner had sped away and she was weaving across the road bewildered. I jumped in front of an SUV and called to her - luckily she came to me - kinda lurking to me, crawling across the pavement. I snatched her up and put her in my car ... she was lucky. She was thin when I found her and had a large gash on her side.. it was evident she had previously worn a tight collar that had just been removed - her hair was matted down around her neck. At the time, I didn't want a dog - and especially could not afford her plus I was in a one room cabin with 2 dogs and a cat already.. but I just couldn't let her go. She was so much more lucky than the dog I was drawing tonight....
MAry

Monday, September 29, 2008

dreams

I have been sick and haven't worked on anything for a bit. I have been so tired and unable to sleep for a full night - and when I do sleep I have really odd dreams. I just woke up from one,,, I dreamt that I was at a show and all of the work kinda stunk - but there was an element that ran through the work.. over and over again I saw it.. the idea of disposable.. made me think of this project.. I have been focused lately on the drawings and I have been neglecting the element of the disposable nature that society has somehow put upon the animals.. I know exactly what to do with it now - thanx to the dream. I haven't mentioned it in here enough, but I have thrown out so many ideas/works - .. but am focused now.. even have a place to show it ..(wont be for a long few months).

Oh guess I am rambling, am so tired, but I just woke up thinking about the dream and past experimentation I had done in the studio and I had to just write it down. I was also thinking about how in the middle of the night sometimes the memory of one of the dogs or cats pops in my head and how I feel a bit haunted by them - but not in a bad way. Like I said I haven't been working for a bit - sick and uninsured.fun..... I want to get back to the drawings.. I think about the stack of then, but part of my sick is my eyes are screwed up so until it clears can't work.. ugh. But now I know as part of the disposable part, I have to get a lot of fast food. yup. fast food.

I know this might not make any sense yet, but like I said,, I am sick and tired and just had the weirdest dream.. good things come in dreams - ideas - signs I guess.. so I thought since I neglect the blog I would go ahead and type this before I was fully awake.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

just a note..

if you have found this via my profile .. just want to let you know this project is real and not part of the "fake" blog works I am doing :) This is a serious project, and because it has been difficult has helped lead me to the fake identities I am creating work under.. you can look under my profile for lundbergart to see a full description of what I am doing

ok, if you didn't get here via my profile and are wondering what in the world? please take a look at this blog and if you want to see how different my other work is please click on my profile.

confusing enough?

oh, and i have not drawn yet today since I have hurt my neck/back (pinched nerve?) and can hardly move so am not doing anything. But I spent time thinking and wondering.. should patterning be involved in the drawings? I wonder......

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

27

oh man, so I projected 27 images today.. I would have done more, but i ran out of paper. I am projecting the photos I have taken - enlarging them and am doing a basic outline of each animal. I will be going back in and working the image.. right now i am working on reeves bfk.. i would prefer bristol, but with the size I want reeves is more accessible to me.. plus as I was working today.. it was growing on me.. feels much more organic than the bristol does. I have no images to add today since i was an idiot and forgot to take the camera.. but i will try and get some on tomorrow. (I really do wish I had the camera since the projector was the oldest coolest thing i had seen.. )
I found when i was going through photos that there were many images with 'groups' of animals so i decided that I would do those images as the group as opposed the individual. I am leaving a lot of negative space and am still wondering if that space will be as it is or will I add color? Hmmmm.. I am moving away (at least at this time) from the symbolism i began with.. when i was working with the images using gimp, I found the absence of the environment had a real appeal to me...so for now that is where i am ... i am too tired to draw anymore tonight.. i hope to get tons done tomorrow and get some images on here...
I have to say it was weird seeing the faces of the dogs and cats projected on the wall and knowing they are gone.. it made me sad, but also determined.

Monday, September 8, 2008

questions and projections

oh man, it has been a rough few months and this project has really taken a hit. I have found out that I will have the use of a projector this Wednesday to enlarge the photos and transfer to paper/canvas.. am very excited, since I really - really need this! I will take photos of the process and get some images of the work on asap.

One thing I have been following in the news is that the VP pick for the Republican party promoted the shooting of wolves from helicopters/airplanes.. and offered a bounty of$150 for the leg of a killed wolf. I am so upset by this news..... what a cowardly thing to do. I am not against hunting - however, I am against the sensless slaughter of living creatures... this is just that. My family once had a wolf hybrid as a pet. His name was Kai and was the most gentle intelligent creature I have ever met in my life. Kai loved cats and on many occasions stole kittens from our cat's litters - we would find him curled up with the little kittens - mothering them. When I heard about Palin and her stance on this in the news I was beyond disgusted. I can't comprehend how someone would think that is right.

sooo I saw on the ABC news site they were asking for questions for Palin so I posed these..

1. Why does she think it is okay to shoot wolves from helicopters/planes and mutilate their bodies for a bounty?
2. What role does she feel the government should take in supporting artists working in the United States? Does she support an increase for the NEA (for assisting living artist's work)?

I am also interested in all of the candidates views on support of artists in this country.. from what I have seen - McCain is not too keen on it and has not given a solid answer when asked. Obama has not gone into great detail as well, but I have read he wants health care for us. Anyway, I won't spend too much time on this - but the election does affect what I do.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

ooo

I have not posted for a bit.. and won't for a little longer since I am having to deal with some flooding in my home. It is not feet, but inches so I consider myself lucky.. so many people in the region are losing everything. Everyime it rains it happens all over and I haven't slept well for over a week because of it. I hope to get back on track soon,,, but my studio is displaced at the moment and I put all my energies into cleaning up the mess and fixing things so it will not happen again.....
I do want to thank the inventor of the shopvac - without that most wonderful device I would be totally screwed. :)

Thursday, May 29, 2008

wax buttons

I finally got some wax. I sold a button - thank you. I found my missing camera. But I haven't been back to the shelter for some time now.. and I wish I could be there..

oh and I took my own dog Jillian Jones Appalachian Highway Dog in to get spayed - I miss my little wirey monster and wish I could explain to her why I did it. If you don't hve your pets fixed.. get them done asap.. I miss her though and I have not been away from her for a night since picking her up off of the highway.... crazy how much I miss that little dog trying to climb on my laptop...ok am babbling.. off to bed...

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

buttons


make custom gifts at Zazzle
buttons.. help support project fifty-two!! Click on the button above! I don't make much off of these,,, so get many and give them to your friends and family!! Oh, and did I mention 1/2 of all proceeds go to the Newport animal shelter? Ha the other 1/2 goes back into the project..... I hope get more products added soon.. plus I am working on some just for the shelter to sell at their own gift shop....

Friday, April 18, 2008

in progress..


I haven't fully decided on colors as of yet... but I will be doing several series for this project .. and in this one I am removing them from their enviornment.....

Sunday, April 13, 2008

art? suffering?

I just ran across this myspace page regarding an artist who took a dog and tied it in a gallery with no food and water. It died. This was considered art. I had read about this before, but upon finding this page- I need to take a moment from my project to pass it on. This must never happen again.

http://www.myspace.com/notart08


It is not art to cause the suffering - it is art to do something about it.
MAry

Friday, April 11, 2008

removal


I found I can remove them from the environment with my art.. I can set them free.. I'll explain later.. when I have more done.. the project is taking a digital turn.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Oprah






So I was so glad to see that Oprah did a show on puppy mills and the overpopulation of dogs. It was wonderful to see such a well known public person use her show to educate people on where many puppies come from and the how horrible the conditions are. The fact that she showed the dogs that were euthanized in the shelter was wonderful. This project I am working on is so hard, and it was good to see press on the subject.
Watching the show today made me think to the euthanasia that I witnessed. I hated it so much - I loved all of the dogs and puppies put down that day. They knew when they went in the room - they knew. I really wanted to scream and steal them away, but I just held my emotions in because I was there to do a job - to document, to see, to learn and to understand. I held it all in that day until I got home and then cancelled my plans and climbed in bed. I didn't like seeing it. However, I need to see it again - I have more work to do.
I am having such a hard time with not being able to go the shelter. I think about it everyday and love to get updates on the goings on there - but I miss to be able to meet the animals - to touch them and talk to them. The art means so much more to me when I can know the subject. I know I will get back there, but I wish I knew when.
Ok it is late, and this stuff was just running through my head,,, so thought I'd throw it on here...the pictures above are some I took... I was just thinking of their faces.....i don't even know what happened to them all - I have so many pictures and I look at so many - and I just don't know...

Monday, March 24, 2008

light



... I was just working on some photos from the shelter and I was thinking a lot about the light there. In the kennels in certain times the light really poured into the outdoor kennels and made the most interesting shapes when it hit the kennel wiring. Anyway, I am just obsessing about the light at the moment...

Friday, February 29, 2008

moved


oh man. So life can really take some wild turns and mine has had some pretty sharp ones lately. I have moved to Iowa - my Mom needs me to be here for her. But the project continues - well, it will when I can get my studio up an working again. Things are in such disarray right now,, but I have tons of pictures to work from and I will be traveling back there as soon as I am able. (anyone want to donate to the help Mary travel to Newport fund?) I am seriously thinking of starting a shop on etsy to help pay for that... I will NOT let this project stop!

I feel so bad for not having posted for so long - the move has taken a lot out of me. As soon as I get some more work to post I will - in fact, I was just unpacking some small boards that I will be using. (I bought them in Knoxville instead of paying my utilities a couple of months back) I have the new work in my mind - it is simply a matter of getting the studio working and sitting down and doing it....

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Life

newsday

Life can be very tough sometimes - as this project has shown. My personal life has been making things so difficult for me to work on this lately. I have missed going to the shelter for the last 2 weeks because I just couldn't afford the gas. Finances are tough and the shelter is an hour away. I will miss more time now, due to my mother having a stroke. Things are just so hard right now.

In the time I have been away I have been swimming through the piles of images that I have taken while there. The sad part is that I could very easily create the 52 main images now. It amazes me how many animals have gone in such a short time - I only began in the Fall. I have realized that what I thought would be a very linear project, has become not so. It is hard to decide which dog or cat I will use. I hate the fact that those that I don't include may never be remembered - I hate that.

I am working on ideas of how to use the photos. Will they be printed - collaged - transfered onto material? - I don't know yet. I have so much work to do and life being so hard is making it more difficult than I could ever imagine. I have been working on some positive images of animals to donate to the shelter - I hope someone can donate money to have them printed and framed - the employees have been working so hard on making that place look better and I would be honored to have my work hang in their halls.

The above image is a more positive one - it is one of the dogs interacting with the reporter Anthony Welsch from WBIR when he did my interview in Knoxville. It is one of my favorite images so far. I just wanted to put something nice on here today.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Truths


Every week animals are euthanized at the animal shelter that I have been working with. Every year millions (not hundreds or thousands - millions) are killed each year in our country. It is so big it is hard to wrap the mind around - to really understand and grasp how this is happening. I don't really understand how something this huge keeps going on - I just don't.

I have been guilty of allowing my animals to reproduce in the past - I am now more upset with myself than ever. Especially after seeing 9 puppies put to sleep on Friday. I have been wrong. But I know better now - and my only hope is through my work to help other people know how wrong it is - to help them see the results of the irresponisibilty that exists.

It is easy to understand the suffering of the animals - but have you ever thought about those that must do the euthanasia? Has anyone ever thought about how by leaving an animal at the shelter affects those who work there? I bet most don't. The people who work there truly care about the animals. At the Newport shelter there are very dedicated and hard working individuals - and not unlike us they have the same emotions. Unlike those of us who are not in their position - their emotions are played with on a daily basis due to the "throw away" society that we live in. It may be out of sight and out of mind for those abandoning their animals - but for the shelter workers they are not afforded that luxury.

I went in fully expecting to feel grief over the animals that died, and I fully expected to see the terror and pain in the eyes of the animals as they met their fate. What I was not prepared for was to see the emotion from the workers involved. I wasn't prepared to see the pain of the animal control officer as he held back tears while gently holding the dogs as they were injected with the drugs. I wasn't expecting to see the tears from the director over her frustration and saddness over the act. If people don't care about the animals - I wish they could get a glimpse into what their actions do to the people. I wish they could see the care that the dogs and puppies received in their final moments - the soft touch, the words, the carefullness of placing their bodies in the bags. These people care so much and it hurt more than anything to see such good people forced to do this because of an irresponsible society.

Death for the castaway animals is not the solution - it is simply something that must be done due to the overwhelming numbers. On Friday I saw a dog waiting in the back of the animal control truck - waiting for a space - a space provided by the euthanized animals. They arrive all the time. The solution is to be responsible. To fix your pets. To adopt from shelter. To be better role models for the next generation. I saw 12 die on Friday - 12 is a small number in the scheme of things - but I am still in shock. I mourn for them.

I left the shelter searching for answers in my head. I left wondering about religion - did not God create these creatures - I am embarrassed for us all. But maybe there is no God. I am feeling so lost about this all and the only tool I have to stand up against it are my words and my art. That is the voice I have. I feel more strongly about what I am doing with the shelter now.

Friday, January 11, 2008

This is what I saw today - I'll talk about it later after my thoughts can be put into some sort of meaningful sense...